Uncomforting Comforts

our home is a picture-perfect scenery:
          beds of roses,
                smiling faces,
                     loyal dog,
                           friendly neighborhood
           filled with children playing in the yard,
                trails for running,
                     families bicycling…

we have everything:
          a comfortable bed to lay in,
                television to watch,
                     cars to drive,
                       employment to keep busy,
                          and mouths to be fed.

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

a husband who:
          helps around the house,
                is adored by his children,
                     embeds his family as my own…

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

after twenty years of:
          challenges overcome,
                dream vacations,
                     belly-aching laughs,
                         tears of frustration,
                            tears of joy,

it seems we built this to last

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

but staring at the ceiling
while he thrusts himself into me,
there’s a deepness i’m missing
where earthquakes would once rattle me.

what i’d give for an 8.0 right about now…