Deconstruction Site

How many times do we take
the leap before we realize
we’ve jumped in too deep

How many times do we stop
to realize we need to
protect our insides

How many times does this heart
have to break; this love,
you too shall take

He was the one healing
the deepest scar,
the wound he created,
only to tear it open
as he twists the knife
churning everything
inside of me

Shortcomings

Is it too much to ask
To have you say
And do all of the
Appropriate things
To touch gently
To say the truth and beauty
Of the moments
You and I spend

Is it too much to ask
To respond
To the love I give
To show the depth
Of the love you feel

Is it too much to ask
Is it a childish need
Is this what we’ve become
Is this where we’ll always be
Always wishing and waiting
For the love we both need

Words

This poem appears in my poetry collection Coffee Shop Sessions: Whatever It Takes, Even If It Doesn’t Take available on Amazon.

I need words
I need better words
Words of joy
Words of healing
Words to console me in times of need
Words of understanding
Words to make me feel complete
Words of love
Words of compassion
Words that show a deeper meaning than what appears in front of me

Words that you cannot find
Words that you cannot express
Words that will never enter your heart or mind
And will never leave your lips

I need words to hang onto
Words that lift me up
Words that will make me want to come back to you
Words that will make me want a future with you

Words,
I need words

The Shape of Us

Image credit: Magnifier

The shape of our love, our version of it,
Exists in bubbling thoughts of former lives
And constant dreams of distant hearts
Where our lives are entwined

Ripples of waves intersect
Jetting dangerously close
But never on the same path
Turning heads, looking back

How do we get off this track
Without losing control,
Without knowing
Where it will go

The inhabitants look upon us
Making waves in their home
They tell us to let the waves subside,
Transform our shape and go

Show’s Over

Image credit Andrey Kuzmin

The production commenced
with actors on stage
portraying the love we once had-
the grasp of her cheek,
the look in her eyes,
as he folded over himself
to make her swoon his way.

Amongst an empty crowd,
the curtain’s now drawn,
the actors have gone home,
the final act is done,
it’s time to get on.

Hanging on for an encore,
hoping for another show,
relishing in the memories
and never letting go,
I can still feel that soft cheek,
feel those eyes resting upon me,
and those chains not letting me free.

The show’s over
but it plays on
relentlessly in the forefront
of this lover’s mind.

Dear love

Dear love,
Thoughts of you the other day brought smiles. Today thoughts of you produced overrun swells in my eyes. The many years we’ve been separated, but how our hearts have always been close, how many more years will it be like this? Living in fantasy and memories all of the time is no way of living. The truth of what can never be, will I ever set these feelings free? This arrested state of bliss, of dreaming of our next kiss… and the pain of knowing that it may be a million years away. We’re so close yet always out of reach. I sit and dream of you, and wonder… will our dreams ever come true.

Undying Flame

Images and words
suddenly appear,
words longed for
hitting deep
as they wrap around
and envelop me,
overwhelming yet satisfying.

Since our last meeting
your ghostly presence arrived
in the oddest of places:
romantic restaurants,
quaint cafes,
art galleries,
long car drives,
concert halls,
walking in a park,
every room of the house,
and late at night in bed.

Days leading up
to significant life events,
it was you
always there
intervening
and me not finding the right words
to express the emptiness,
the loss,
the longing,
the wanting.

Reunions are great, they say,
as long as you don’t have to deal with the past,
as long as it doesn’t control your present,
as long as the flame doesn’t consume you.

Yet, here I stand steadily in the burning flames with you.

There’s something there…

There’s something to instant gratification,
to the waiting, the buildup,
in the never showing up,
in the knowing,
And in the walking away

There’s something in running towards your dreams,
something worth fighting for

There’s something to the little things,
at a macro level they mean so much more

There’s something to the blissful silence,
the arousal from just a look

And there’s something to the tortured silence,
an empty stare

There’s something to wanting to hold someone close
that’s too far away

And there’s something to wishing the one sitting closest to you
would go far away

There’s something to having a soulmate who loves you deeply,
the distance doesn’t change a thing

And there’s something to living with someone you barely know
after 20 years

There’s a love,
and then there’s a compromise

Tell me something, what has gotten us here…