nous avons tout le temps

This poem has been revisited often in the past few months. The original poem can be found here: Nous Avons Tout Le Temps Pour Nous. This final version below can also be found in Coffee Shop Sessions III: In the Arms of Love.


in the crowded city streets
sinking further on a midsummer’s night,
flooding puddles inch higher
as tiny tragedies.

can i make it there in one piece
or will he see the disaster that is me?

reaching for the door,
i let out a ‘just breathe’
then gingerly step into the world
where we’ve arranged to meet.

will this turn out exactly how it should have been?
i still believe that timing is everything.

standing to greet me,
his butterflies swarm from first sight.
yet my nerves have rattled for hours
ever since i stepped onto the international flight.

our smiles start to ease
as we embrace the shared space.
so many questions begging for relief
but we’d rather sit and stare into each other’s face.

soaking up this anticipated moment,
we catch eyes between sips of our coffee & tea.
although he doesn’t believe in fate or destiny,
i know this was all meant to be.

i let him take his time,
process all the angles of view,
tell him we’ll start with all the things
we had planned to do.

and we will.
we have the time.
we have all the time.
we have all the time for us.

Deconstruction Site

How many times do we take
the leap before we realize
we’ve jumped in too deep

How many times do we stop
to realize we need to
protect our insides

How many times does this heart
have to break; this love,
you too shall take

He was the one healing
the deepest scar,
the wound he created,
only to tear it apart
as he twists the knife
churning everything
inside of me

Uncomforting Comforts

Image credit: fizkes

our home is a picture-perfect scenery:
          beds of roses,
                smiling faces,
                     loyal dog,
                           friendly neighborhood
           filled with children playing in the yard,
                trails for running,
                     families bicycling…

we have everything:
          a comfortable bed to lay in,
                television to watch,
                     cars to drive,
                       employment to keep busy,
                          and mouths to be fed.

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

a husband who:
          helps around the house,
                is adored by his children,
                     embeds his family as my own…

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

after twenty years of:
          challenges overcome,
                dream vacations,
                     belly-aching laughs,
                         tears of frustration,
                            tears of joy,

it seems we built this to last

absolutely no reason, i remind myself, look around…

but staring at the ceiling
while he thrusts himself into me,
there’s a deepness i’m missing
where earthquakes would once rattle me.

what i’d give for an 8.0 right about now…

Revolving Door

Image Credit: Baloncici

He says, “you’ve been a great lover,
opened up doors for me,
been there when I needed you
but I’m going to leave you, woman
for I know you could do better than me”
He picks up his suitcase,
then he’s running out the door

And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers in and out the revolving door

She says, “I’m going to leave this town
so much has been given
and I’m grateful for what’s been
but I need to get going
for I know I could do better”
She packs her things,
then she’s running out the door

And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers in and out the revolving door

There’s always a path to something better
there’s always something else that will find you
all the sweet things that you dream
she sends a postcard to check in, say where she’s been
but he doesn’t look back, throws all those lost loves into his sack

And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers who dream
and lovers who leave

Destination Yesterday

The phone booth crashes into my yard
I’ve seen this play out before
stepping inside, I reach for the receiver
and browse the years to rediscover

Should I dial that year
when I had my first kiss
Should I dial that year
when he made me felt squeamish

Should I dial that year
when I thought I found love
Should I dial that year
when his body fit like a glove

Should I turn back
when things didn’t quite feel right
Should I turn back
when I should have put up a fight

If my destination was yesterday,
which yesterday would it be
or would I stand exactly
where life presents me