Wrapped in Chains


Contemplating her next move
the pounding within her chest
told her what she already knew:

she was nowhere close to break free
from the chains wrapped ’round her so tightly.

With the escape route blocked;
there was no sense in moving
for every wriggle tightened the grip.

Accepting her fate, another day
in this God forsaken place,
if it was her own doing
then it shouldn’t hurt as much.

All there was to lose,
the ghosts of future memories:
the would haves,
could haves,
should haves,
ought-to-do’s,
that ran through her soul
every minute she looked out the window.

If she remained grounded instead of lifting her wings,
maybe she could get used to living this way.

“Just don’t move,” she whispered under her breath.
And there she lied
as ghosts of future memories continued.

A Bleeding Heart

It’s getting late and we’re dying to find out
what’s fated us here tonight.

You dare to ask what I’ve done, where I’ve been,
I’ll tell you more than you’d want to know
so let’s start this off slow.

The truth can be a dangerous thing;
you can’t unhear it once the stories have cleared.

I’ve held the hammer to a bludgeoned heart,
been the reason love and light broke apart.

I’ve danced across graves at night,
celebrated the taste of freedom that was mine.

I’ve destroyed many with a single look
then let go of ’em before they could sink their hooks.

I’ve lived through it all with eyes glued to the sky,
as a witness without remorse, only living on the outside.

With a heart paralyzed and surrounded by flames,
I curated multiple tragedies as cupid’s arrow took aim.

With hearts discarded,
I’ve since repented and paid the price
of these words and actions of a former life.

My dear, on this night with you I promise-
my pounding heart is now yours. If you’ll take it,
please don’t open the glovebox where there lies a knife.

Walking The Corridors of My Mind

thoughts drift wondering
about those who have
walked the corridors
of my mind,
over the years
and through the doors
in and out of sight.

I see their faces,
hear their voices,
as they’ve entered dreams
and I wonder,
where have they gone?
what are they doing now?
do they wonder the same?

do they see the same blue
skies above?
do they feel the same aches
of aging?
do they have needs
to hear the music
but they’re
unfulfilled and left
wondering?

are they out there,
are they wondering the same
for me?

Disconnected

Particles of despair spin midair.
They soon become swallowed and part of me
before there’s a chance of being wiped away.

I try and I try and only return to asking:

How is this pain necessary?
Is not struggling even an option?
Is my negative perspective the only guideline I carry?

The nature of it does not resemble the ideal.
When it starts to feel like
we’re falling off track from living the dream,

there’s a knock on the door. We shake off the covers
to awaken where unicorns fly above rainbows
and oh, how we wonder with befuddlement,

‘how did we get here?’

listen to her

inside of you,

that constant voice

knows you better

than anyone else.

she’s been there

when no one else was.

she knows she’ll never

steer you wrong.

she’ll direct you forward,

& retract you

from uncomfortable situations.

no matter if they say otherwise,

listen to her.

friends know a side of you,

your lover knows another,

but she knows all of you;

all of your inner workings

shaping your heart

and points of view,

listen to her.

when the night is still,

when you’re in the midst

of looking across the room

but you’re 3,000 miles away,

listen to her.

she’s there to keep you

grounded yet dreaming,

enjoying yet wishing

that soon all will be right.

You Never Knew

you think you know a guy
years, months, weeks,
day in and day out
conversations exchanged
how things were left unsaid
how we chose, or chose not, to be

how we hide behind the way we speak
how we say, or don’t say,
the things we mean

you think you know a guy
and suddenly he’s a stranger
you never knew his thoughts,
never knew the things he’s done,
never knew the reasons why
things have come undone

you think you know a guy
now he’s an ass, a jerk,
in a mid-life crisis,
he doesn’t know how to deal
he’d rather eschew responsibility
and break away

you think you know a guy
he only showed what he wanted you to see
now he’s come clean,
no more pretending

you think you know a guy
but did you ever
really know him at all?

Thanks for reading. This goes out to anyone who has been blindsided by a loved one.

unease

it’s been three days
with clear blue skies

every morning
i stand in disbelief;

there’s nothing to obstruct the view
nothing to prevent the light from coming through

so why do i feel at unease?
because even now, the skies are just a tease

dysphoria

the way you say
the things you don’t

carefully crafted
to disguise
parts of you in other realms,

it’s an alarming surprise
the way you reveal
your true self to me

leaves me empty
reduced to mysterious needs

i look away and say,
‘can’t we just talk poetry?’

in your flood

one step out the door
one step forward
one step closer
to the flood

one step backwards
one step in reverse
one step away
from drowning

a punch to the gut
and tears streaming,
more than the smiles
more than the ‘i love you’s

and how many more years like this
how much can i take like this

i agreed to ever after
but this now, these lows
i can do without
i barely survive the crash
before the next one arrives

give me time to breathe
give me time to survive
give me time in the clearing
before i drown
in your flood

Call It What It Is

Heatwaves radiating across the country,
common occurrences every summer
now occurring every season.

Summer stretches long into Fall,
makes a cameo during Winter
And begins earlier every Spring.

It’s a heatwave, they say.
No, it’s global warming.
No, it’s now called climate change, haven’t you heard?
No, that’s all fake news.
It’s only a heatwave, you see.

Varying heatwaves from place to place,
it’s unheard of in cities without air conditioning.
And now 130 recorded in the middle of Death Valley,
it’s a long streak of near-death experiences for everybody.

Sure, tell them it’s just another heatwave while our friends melt in the sweltering sun.
Tell them it’s only a heatwave when the final glaciers breakaway.
Tell them it’s only a heatwave, I’m sure they will soon believe.