Contemplating her next move
the pounding within her chest
told her what she already knew:
she was nowhere close to break free
from the chains wrapped ’round her so tightly.
With the escape route blocked;
there was no sense in moving
for every wriggle tightened the grip.
Accepting her fate, another day
in this God forsaken place,
if it was her own doing
then it shouldn’t hurt as much.
All there was to lose,
the ghosts of future memories:
the would haves,
that ran through her soul
every minute she looked out the window.
If she remained grounded instead of lifting her wings,
maybe she could get used to living this way.
“Just don’t move,” she whispered under her breath.
And there she lied
as ghosts of future memories continued.
It’s getting late and we’re dying to find out
what’s fated us here tonight.
You dare to ask what I’ve done, where I’ve been,
I’ll tell you more than you’d want to know so let’s start this off slow.
The truth can be a dangerous thing;
you can’t unhear it once the stories have cleared.
I’ve held the hammer to a bludgeoned heart,
been the reason love and light broke apart.
I’ve danced across graves at night,
celebrated the taste of freedom that was mine.
I’ve destroyed many with a single look
then let go of ’em before they could sink their hooks.
I’ve lived through it all with eyes glued to the sky,
as a witness without remorse, only living on the outside.
With a heart paralyzed and surrounded by flames,
I curated multiple tragedies as cupid’s arrow took aim.
With hearts discarded,
I’ve since repented and paid the price
of these words and actions of a former life.
My dear, on this night with you I promise-
my pounding heart is now yours. If you’ll take it,
please don’t open the glovebox where there lies a knife.
thoughts drift wondering
about those who have
walked the corridors
of my mind,
over the years
and through the doors
in and out of sight.
I see their faces,
hear their voices,
as they’ve entered dreams
and I wonder,
where have they gone?
what are they doing now?
do they wonder the same?
do they see the same blue
skies above? do they feel the same aches of aging? do they have needs to hear the music but they’re unfulfilled and left wondering?
are they out there,
are they wondering the same
Particles of despair spin midair.
They soon become swallowed and part of me
before there’s a chance of being wiped away.
I try and I try and only return to asking:
How is this pain necessary?
Is not struggling even an option? Is my negative perspective the only guideline I carry?
The nature of it does not resemble the ideal.
When it starts to feel like we’re falling off track from living the dream,
there’s a knock on the door. We shake off the covers
to awaken where unicorns fly above rainbows and oh, how we wonder with befuddlement,
‘how did we get here?’
inside of you,
that constant voice
knows you better
than anyone else.
she’s been there
when no one else was.
she knows she’ll never
steer you wrong.
she’ll direct you forward,
& retract you
from uncomfortable situations.
no matter if they say otherwise,
listen to her.
friends know a side of you,
your lover knows another,
but she knows all of you;
all of your inner workings
shaping your heart
and points of view,
listen to her.
when the night is still,
when you’re in the midst
of looking across the room
but you’re 3,000 miles away,
listen to her.
she’s there to keep you
grounded yet dreaming,
enjoying yet wishing
that soon all will be right.
you think you know a guy
years, months, weeks, day in and day out conversations exchanged how things were left unsaid how we chose, or chose not, to be how we hide behind the way we speak how we say, or don’t say, the things we mean you think you know a guy and suddenly he’s a stranger you never knew his thoughts, never knew the things he’s done, never knew the reasons why things have come undone you think you know a guy now he’s an ass, a jerk, in a mid-life crisis, he doesn’t know how to deal he’d rather eschew responsibility and break away you think you know a guy he only showed what he wanted you to see now he’s come clean, no more pretending you think you know a guy but did you ever really know him at all?
Thanks for reading. This goes out to anyone who has been blindsided by a loved one.
it’s been three days
with clear blue skies
i stand in disbelief;
there’s nothing to obstruct the view
nothing to prevent the light from coming through
so why do i feel at unease?
because even now, the skies are just a tease
the way you say
the things you don’t
parts of you in other realms,
it’s an alarming surprise
the way you reveal
your true self to me
leaves me empty
reduced to mysterious needs
i look away and say,
‘can’t we just talk poetry?’
one step out the door
one step forward one step closer to the flood
one step backwards
one step in reverse one step away from drowning
a punch to the gut
and tears streaming, more than the smiles more than the ‘i love you’s
and how many more years like this
how much can i take like this
i agreed to ever after
but this now, these lows i can do without i barely survive the crash before the next one arrives
give me time to breathe
give me time to survive give me time in the clearing before i drown in your flood
Heatwaves radiating across the country,
common occurrences every summer
now occurring every season.
Summer stretches long into Fall,
makes a cameo during Winter
And begins earlier every Spring.
It’s a heatwave, they say.
No, it’s global warming.
No, it’s now called climate change, haven’t you heard?
No, that’s all fake news.
It’s only a heatwave, you see.
Varying heatwaves from place to place,
it’s unheard of in cities without air conditioning.
And now 130 recorded in the middle of Death Valley,
it’s a long streak of near-death experiences for everybody.
Sure, tell them it’s just another heatwave while our friends melt in the sweltering sun.
Tell them it’s only a heatwave when the final glaciers breakaway.
Tell them it’s only a heatwave, I’m sure they will soon believe.