Words & Music by Kimberly Ray
soft rolling waves
brushing the shoreline
come hurling. warmth
that used to make
your blood boil makes you
recoil deeper
from all that you
have felt and long to
feel. digging deep
into the sand
to push it away,
you recoil
into yourself.
this was not part of
the plan; moving
to the city
to be part of the
scene, only to
find you’re constantly
sinking.
after Joni Mitchell*
after years of hoping things would change
and giving in to “well, that’s the way it is,”
look me in eyes and realize
this is who we are,
who we’ve become,
it’s finally come true –
our love’s become old news.
we never lived up to the story of make-believe;
when we face each other
I must believe this is the choice
we’ve been making.
every morning & every night,
from here on out
this the only way to keep going,
alone.
turn these dog-eared pages of our lives
for other truths to be told,
for other hands to hold.
from countless days of emptiness
from your professions,
your attempts at affirmations,
something in me knows better:
there’s more to love
than a collection of memories,
there’s more to see
than foil-wrapped treasuries.
what passed in the space between us?
a moment, a disappointment,
and I leave it all in the past.
what’s to come?
a path we’ve never tread,
yet time’s been stolen
and minutes slip away.
the clock stares and we wait
for affections from a new love,
a new life in a new bed.
The title comes from a comment Joni Mitchell made when describing the theme of her music, one part hopeful and one part “the portrait of disappointment.”
Watch it as it goes
Out the window
And out into the world.
Watch as it no longer has a home.
Watch as it slowly slips through your fingers
But somehow you know it had a piece of your soul.
That void is opening, getting larger,
Slowly drifting out and now you wish it could come back home,
Even for a moment,
Just a moment to return the time
Where you could embrace it,
Or imagine what you could do
If you could pause it for a moment,
But it’s gone… it’s gone.
And it’s right outside your window,
Do you open your window
And let it accompany you as you wake?
Do you let it sing you to bed at night
As your heart slowly breaks?
And you watch it outside your window
As it slowly fades away
Into the distance,
Into a memory
That wants to walk away.
Grab onto the memory,
Let it linger and comfort you once more.
Just right outside the window
It’s telling you
‘Can I come in through the door?’
This piece came pouring out after the first two lines came to me in song… Thanks for reading.
After Robbie Krieger
A rhythm begins within, grows its pace
steadying adjacent to my lungs
gently caressing and heightening in time.
As I reach for an opened door
among this unsteady foundation,
I become one with an ultimate fascination.
A gentle breeze sways its way
lifting me across the fields.
Absorbed with awe
above each tempestuous treetop
and with each breath, the view assures that we are blessed.
These movements of air,
raw and real,
reminds me how I’ve longed to feel.
This source of peace,
begging for stillness,
levels our lost lives.
Restoring my spirit home,
I grant myself the space to breathe.
The ceaseless rhythm stroking my chest
stirs within me, and is bound to last eternally.
Originally published in Teen Belle Magazine at https://teenbellemag.wixsite.com/tbmag/post/moving-forward-by-kimberly-ray
Treading forward,
wind pushing against my back
Finding a grip in the blowing sand
Gust ripping and I’m alone again
Ruminating about the sunset
What I’ll see if I continue moving
Head down, pushing against the wind
Marching forward, finding where I’ll begin
I will get my way
Taking fate by the hand
I will see my sunset someday
Making my way across this historic land
How many times do we take
the leap before we realize
we’ve jumped in too deep
How many times do we stop
to realize we need to
protect our insides
How many times does this heart
have to break; this love,
you too shall take
He was the one healing
the deepest scar,
the wound he created,
only to tear it apart
as he twists the knife
churning everything
inside of me
One by one counting memories:
An old photograph of us at the beach,
A sweater that won’t rid itself of your scent,
Books and CDs that you lent,
I’ve packed them away
They won’t see another day
I’ve packed the boxes,
Made the plans,
The rooms are empty
But I am motionless
Is it that familiar look?
Is it that morning glow
That paints itself through that morning window?
No, it’s these damn memories that aren’t letting go
Listen to more of my poems on SoundCloud
This poem, along with others, can be found in my book Coffee Shop Sessions II: Moving Mountains One by One
He says, “you’ve been a great lover,
opened up doors for me,
been there when I needed you
but I’m going to leave you, woman
for I know you could do better than me”
He picks up his suitcase,
then he’s running out the door
And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers in and out the revolving door
She says, “I’m going to leave this town
so much has been given
and I’m grateful for what’s been
but I need to get going
for I know I could do better”
She packs her things,
then she’s running out the door
And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers in and out the revolving door
There’s always a path to something better
there’s always something else that will find you
all the sweet things that you dream
she sends a postcard to check in, say where she’s been
but he doesn’t look back, throws all those lost loves into his sack
And that’s the way it is
that’s the way it’ll always be
lovers who dream
and lovers who leave
Coffee Shop Sessions 
